# I’ll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
# Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?
# I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy!
# Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?
# That was a great fart! Do another one!
# I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
# You’re so sexy when you’re hungover.
# I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
# Let’s subscribe to Hustler.
# Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
# Say, let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.
# I’ll be out painting the house.
# I love it when you play golf on Sunday’s, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.
# Honey..our new neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
# I know it’s a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
# No, No, I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.
# Your mother is way better than mine.
# Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine’s Day thing and buy yourself new clubs.
# I understand fully… our anniversary comes every year for Christ’s sake, you go hunting with the guys, it’s a wonderful stress reliever.
# Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a rack of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tamara over for a threesome!
# Christ, not the fucking mall again, come on let’s go to that new strip joint!
# Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don’t you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.
# You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.
# God..if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust!
# I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you
# What do you mean today’s our anniversary?
# Can we not talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV.
# Oh, this diamond is way too big!
# And for our honeymoon we’re going fishing in Alaska!
# Can our relationship get a little more physical? I’m tired of being “just friends”.
# Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
# Aww, don’t stop for directions, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.
# Is that phone for me? Tell ‘em I’m not here.
# I don’t care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.
# That was fun! When will all of your friends be over to watch football again?
# The new girl in my office is a stripper…I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
# While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they’ll still cover.
# Bar food again?? Kick ass!!
# I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
# That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool! I’m gonna go over and talk to her.
# I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends… tell me more.
# I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one! What a wonderful Valentines Day!
# Let’s just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don’t have to mess with it anymore.
# It’s only the third quarter. You should order a couple more pitchers.
# Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie’s butt!
# I’m so happy with my new hairstyle, I don’t think I’ll ever change it again.
# Damn! I love it when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch.
# You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly!
# You are so much smarter than my father.
# If I could only put on another ten pounds, especially on my hips.
# I’m tired of cuddling.